


Figuring Out What He Wants

by BrianJustin4Ever



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:00:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27305236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrianJustin4Ever/pseuds/BrianJustin4Ever
Summary: Eddie hears the Christmas elf when she mistakes Buck for Chris's other dad. Could that lead to something?
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 224
Collections: Buddie Trick or Treat





	Figuring Out What He Wants

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the_lights_and_the_roses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_lights_and_the_roses/gifts).



> So, this is my very first 9-1-1 fic. I only started watching during season 3, so I had to go back and see the first two seasons. Which I did. And Buddie is definitely my OTP.
> 
> Writing for the Buddie discord Trick or Treat exchange, I hope my giftee enjoys the story.

Eddie hears the Christmas elf compliment Buck on their adorable son. That gets him thinking that’s who he wants and not Shannon.

Eddie isn’t far away when he hears the Christmas elf. “You two have an adorable son.” He stills, absentmindedly straightening Christopher’s jacket as he waits to hear Buck’s adamant denial. He hears something else, though.

“Um… Thank you.”

Eddie swears he can hear the blush in Buck’s voice even though his eyes are focused on Christopher.

Buck joins them as if nothing surreal happened with the elf.

Eddie doesn’t ask Buck about the exchange, afraid of the answer. Whether he’s afraid of Buck admitting to feelings or explaining the reason that has nothing to do with feelings of more than friendship… Eddie isn’t sure which option scares him more.

Buck drives the Diaz boys home, and then he’s gone, back to his temporary home with Maddie.

And After Christopher is put to bed, Eddie is left alone with his thoughts.

Which isn’t necessarily a comfortable thing for him. He hates introspection.

When Shannon came back and they kissed, it felt familiar. Like slipping into a pair of well worn jeans. Kissing had been nice. The sex had been good. It was safe. Something he knew. Was it still love? Eddie had thought so at the time.

But when the elf assumed Buck and him was a married couple, his heart had jumped. And when Buck chose to not deny it, butterflies flew around in his stomach and he yearned to go over there, and claim Buck’s lips with his. If Christopher hadn’t been there, Eddie might have actually followed through with that.

If he is in love with Shannon, how can he think of kissing someone else? The fact that he isn’t freaking out about the idea of being interested in Buck is very telling.

But there’s Shannon. She’s the mother of his son. Doesn’t he owe it to her to at least try to make things work?

* * *

On Christmas Day, when Christopher runs and hugs Shannon, Eddie smiles, but he keeps thinking about how someone is missing. He doesn’t feel any urge to go to Shannon, to bring her into his arms. To kiss her.

An image of a handsome face flashes through his mind.

Eddie brings out his phone from his pocket. He pulls up the familiar phone number and shoots off a text before he can second guess himself.

_E: Having a good morning?_

The message back is almost immediate.

_B: I guess. I thought it was just going to be me and Maddie, but Chim is here too._

Eddie frowns. Does Buck sound a little disappointed?

_E: Is that bothering you?_

_B: No, but I’m kinda feeling like the third wheel_

Before he can talk himself out of it, he sends back another message.

_E: Why don’t you come over? I’m sure Chris would love to see you._

There were dots. Then they disappeared. More dots appeared.

_B: Is Shannon there?_

What does that matter to Buck?

_E: Yeah._

_B: Then I’m not coming over. You three should spend the day as a family._

Eddie wants to say, ‘you are family.’ And that statement is more telling than anything. He stares at Christopher and Shannon, and he knows what he wants. It’s for Shannon to be Christopher’s mom but not for her to be his wife.

* * *

That night, after Christopher is in bed, a happy smile plastered on his face, Eddie and Shannon have time to talk without listening ears.

She looks at him long and hard before saying, “Something’s different.”

“You mean besides me letting you see Christopher?” Eddie asks sardonically.

Shannon doesn’t take the bait. “You’ve been distant. Lost in your head today. And you kept staring at your phone.”

“I had invited someone to spend the day with us since they don’t really have much family, and I was disappointed they said no.”

“This someone? Is it a girl?” Shannon asks carefully.

“No,” Eddie quickly answers.

Shannon lets out a relieved chuckle. “Good, I was starting to fear I lost you to someone else.”

Eddie scrunches up his face. Is he really going to tell her before he tells Buck? He makes a decision. “Just because it isn’t a girl doesn’t mean it isn’t someone special.” He finally looks up and meets Shannon’s eyes.

Her smile falters.

“I’m bisexual. And the person I invited to Christmas is a coworker who I care about.”

“Are you two…” She trails off.

“No. For one thing, I would have never done anything while we’re still legally married without speaking to you. Even before I reached out to you for help with Chris’s school. For another thing, I just came to the realization this morning that Buck is family. He’s someone I care about. He’s someone that has a permanent residence in my heart. And he’s someone I want to kiss.”

Shannon nods, a tear sliding down her cheek. “Does he feel the same?”

“I don’t know, but I hope he does.” He thinks about Buck not denying the fact Christopher is his son. It would have been easy enough for him to say, ‘I’m just a family friend.’ “Actually, I think he might, but he would never tell me while I’m trying to work things out with my wife. That’s the kind of person he is. He’d rather suffer in silence.”

Shannon nods again. “Okay.

“I want you to be around for Christopher, but I also think we should start the divorce proceedings.”

“I’ll call my family’s lawyer tomorrow,” she whispers.

“I’m sorry, Shannon,” Eddie says. And he is in a way. He feels sorry for hurting Shannon, but he’s not sorry for falling in love with a great man.

“I should go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow after I talk to the lawyer.”

She goes to the front door, opens it, and closes it, barely making a sound, and he’s left alone with his thoughts. He thinks about waiting until tomorrow, but he knows he won’t be able to sleep if he does.

He fingers the phone that has been glued to his hand most of the day. Buck might not even be awake, but sends a text message anyway.

_E: You are my family._

Dots appear almost instantly.

_B: I am?_

Eddie smiled. He can imagine Buck’s hopeful expression.

_E: Yes. Told Shannon that I wanted a divorce._

Instead of more dots, his phone rings. Eddie immediately answers. Before he can say, ‘hello,’ Buck asks, “Why would you do that?”

“Because Christmas didn’t feel right without you there.”

Buck is quiet for a moment. “When we visited Santa, an elf mistook Chris for my son,” he admits.

“I heard.”

Buck’s breaths are soft through the phone. “I wanted to be able to claim Chris as my own. I love him so much.”

Eddie swallows. “I’m glad.”

“And…” He hesitates and then takes the plunge “And I love you almost as much.”

Eddie smirks “ _Almost_? You mean my kid outranks me.”

Now Eddie can hear Buck’s grin in his voice. “Well, of course. He _is_ my favorite Diaz.”

And the fact that is true is one of the reasons Eddie has fallen for Buck. “Good.” He pauses for a moment, and then he says, “Come over.”

“You’re still technically married.”

“Maybe, but Shannon knows about my feelings for you, and she’s going to talk to a lawyer tomorrow. I want to see you tonight, though, when it’s still Christmas.”

Buck disconnects without a word.

Eddie stands up and paces, waiting for the lights of Buck’s truck to tell him that he has arrived. When they do, Eddie goes outside, meeting Buck on the front porch. He immediately grabs Buck and pulls him into an embrace, holding him.

Buck breathes deeply, his lips touching the shell of Eddie’s ear.

Eddie turns his head, and their lips are millimeters apart. “I know I am still married in name, but I want to kiss you so badly.”

Buck blinks slowly. “We waited this long. I think we can wait a little while longer.”

“One kiss? Just to hold me over?” Eddie almost begs. He would be embarrassed if he didn’t feel such a strong need to have Buck’s lips on his own.

Buck smiles. He grabs something from his back pocket while still holding onto Eddie. “You’re in luck.” He holds a green plant over their heads. “The magic of mistletoe makes us have to kiss.”

Eddie grins and doesn’t wait, in case Buck’s conscience decides to kick into high gear. He claims those tempting lips. It might sound like a cliché, but it’s like fireworks explode behind his closed eyelids.

Buck groans, hand bunching up the shirt he grips as their lips move against each other’s.

Eddie never knew kissing could be so spectacular. His fingers trail down Buck’s chest, feeling the hard muscles beneath the soft t-shit, and he realizes with a start that Buck isn’t wearing a jacket.

It might be California, but it’s still December and a bit on the chilly side.

Eddie breaks the kiss, resting his forehead against Buck’s, their breaths mingling as they pant.

“Wow,” Buck murmurs.

“Wow,” Eddie agrees. “Let’s go inside, so you can get warm.”

“I actually feel pretty overheated right about now,” Buck laughs.

Eddie chuckled. He takes the mistletoe that Buck miraculously managed to hold onto during their kiss. “Come in”

Buck hesitates. “I made an exception for our first kiss, but you are still married, and I don’t want to feel guilty about the start of our relationship.”

Eddie smiles, caressing Buck’s cheek. “We don’t have to do anything. I just want to be with you. Maybe watch a movie?”

Buck nods. “Okay. But keep to your end of the couch.”

“I’ll try,” Eddie promises.

And if he somehow migrates to Buck’s side of the couch during the movie, cuddling with him, Eddie is sure Buck won’t turn him away.

**Author's Note:**

> This might be my first fic in the fandom, but I doubt it will be my last. I have so many ideas, even for longer stories. And I'm sure Buddie will be central in most of them, if not all of them.


End file.
